Is it really possible to live a life without crushing tension or stress in modern world? It is true that stress is a natural phenomenon given to us by the nature to deal with day to day problems or emergency. Stress spurs a man to action. But stress becomes dangerous when 1. there is no action to defuse the stress-giving situation, 2. its level is high. Then it no more remains a simple and healthy stress it becomes a disease and must be treated. Psychiatrists often prescribes valium to loosen its grip on a person. But this medicine is heavy on the heart and nervous system. Moreover a person may get addicted to it and a prolonged use certainly causes many side-effects.
There are other simple methods to reduce tension. Fortunately the best treatment is easy and it costs nothing. And the best of the benefits is that you don't get any side-effects. Here are some tips:
1. Write the Cause of Tension
What is bothering you? What is causing tension? Write everything on a paper so that your mind gets somewhat clearer. Only then you will be able to write a plan to solve the problems. Write everything giving a serial number.
2. Solve the Problem
Write three possible solutions to a problem. And adopt the solution that is easier and more acceptable. It is necessary to solve the problems one by one and with determination otherwise they multiply and aggravate your tension.
3. Take it Easy
It is true that you can't do without work. We must work very hard to achieve. It is good for health and mind. But once a day at least for one hour it is useful to forget work and do the things which relax you.
4. What is the Worst That Can Happen
You are unable to pay the next instalment of your car. There is no money in your account, the cheque will bounce, the company man will knock at your door, company may drag you to court for non-payment. You are worrying and worrying and getting ill. What is the worse scenario: you can pay late and with a fine. The worst is that you will have to sell the car. That way you will pay all the remaining instalments. In this case you can still save some money to enjoy or buy other things. When the work is better you can buy a car again. A happy and relaxed outcome. So why the worry. Cheer up. Bubble of most of the problems just burst when you cheer up and try to solve a problem in an easy way.
5. Let God Handle a Few of Your Problems
God made you so He can handle at least a few of your tough problems. So why bother too much. Try your best to solve the problems you can and leave everything else to God. Every day pray to Him to help you solve your problems and He will definitely do it.
6. Worry More to Worry Less
Whenever there is a problem you have two options: continue worrying or solve the problem. If your mind is not working on solving the problem just worry more and more. In worry or anger slow boiling is always dangerous. Let it come out in some way. The tact is that you have to worry more and intentionally till it becomes boring and ridiculous. You will be suddenly relax then. It is an amazing reverse method.
7. Simplify Your Life
A man makes his life complicated himself and gets in the grip of tension wave. Too many expectations, too many aims, too many friends to appease, too many love affairs to handle - bothering you from all the sides the whole day and the whole month. Simplify your life - have only one love affair or wife, have a few good friends, have one or two aims in life. Then you can't handle the things better.
8. Reduce Expectations
Don't expect too much from others especially from friends and family members. Too many expectations cause heartburn and headaches. Expect less and be happier.
9. Do More What You Fear
You talk to people and you get nervous and tensed. Talk to people more and more and the problem will disappear. You worry the dark. Intentionally enter the dark places more and more and you will become relaxed. You fear car driving on the road. Drive more and more and gradually as you practice more the fear will vanish.
10. Delegate Your Work and Worries
Only two types of persons are tension-free in this world: One who works so hard that there is hardly a place where any tension can fit, and second who delegates his work and worries to others. By delegating you reduce the burden of your mind and find some time for relaxation. Take any option you like.
11. Go to a Doctor and Get Tranquilizers
If you are such a big fool that you are not able to follow the above tips then go to a doctor and get tranquilizers. Pop up a pill and forget the tensions of life. The easiest and the worst solution.
Source : http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-Living-a-Tension-Free-Life&id=266931
Mr.H
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tips for Tension free Life.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Stand By My Belief
To make the effort to take and give good wishes is to constantly experience contentment.
Experience:
Whatever the kinds of personality of the person, if there is this one aim of taking and giving good wishes, there is positivity in every interaction. Attention is paid to make every word and action full of positivity. Words spoken only give happiness to others and give some kind of support to the other person to be better than what he is.
Expression:
When I understand the importance of having good wishes for all, I am able to receive good wishes from others too. I am able to be free from the influence of the negativity of the situations and people. So I constantly experience inner happiness and contentment, even if I don't get something outwardly.
Mr.H
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Managing Presentation Anxiety: Nervousness and Confidence
If you feel nervous when it's time to give a presentation, you are not alone. For many, speaking in front of others ranks among life's most stressful challenges. Even the best speakers can feel butterflies as they begin a presentation — but that doesn't mean they aren't confident.
Nervousness is energy. Embrace it. Use it to fuel your presentation.
Nervousness is natural. When you are performing an activity that has the potential to, say, land a major new client for your firm, inspire your sales force at a crucial time of year, or simply affect your reputation, the stakes are high. Feeling pressure on such occasions is normal and healthy. With a business presentation, it is how you respond to these feelings that can make the difference between success and failure.
If listeners sense that you are tense or unsure, they may have less confidence in you and be less receptive to your message. If you want the audience to believe in you, you must believe in yourself and show it by carrying yourself with confidence.
Preparation
Preparation is perhaps the single most powerful antidote to presentation anxiety. The more prepared you are for a talk, the less nervous you will be and the more confidence you will have.
When you know that your beginning will go well, you can direct your energy outward, toward the audience, connecting with them instead of focusing inward. A strong opening to your presentation will establish a confident tone and launch you powerfully into the rest of your talk.
As you start to prepare your presentation, give careful thought to your audience and your content. Who are your listeners and what will you be communicating to them? By answering these questions thoroughly, you will be able to anticipate how you and your message are likely to be received.
While preparation is critical, we strongly recommend against memorizing your entire presentation or writing out every word of a speech and reading it to your audience. Focusing too much on the specific order of your words as you speak, rather than on the flow of your ideas, can prevent you from having a spontaneous and genuine connection to your content.
However, we do recommend memorizing the opening words — perhaps the first sentence or so — of your presentation and practicing this beginning segment repeatedly. You can raise your confidence level by minimizing any worry you may have about bungling your first words.
"When you know that your beginning will go well, you can direct your energy outward, toward the audience, connecting with them instead of focusing inward. A strong opening to your presentation will establish a confident tone and launch you powerfully into the rest of your talk."
To help keep your talk on track, you may wish to have some brief notes with you to remind you of your key points. These notes should be spare and very legible, so that with a quick glance, you can get what you need and return your focus to your listeners.
In addition to evaluating your audience and content, consider the setting for your presentation. Will you be in a colleague's office? A boardroom or conference room? A banquet hall? Experienced presenters often visit the space where they will be speaking in order to familiarize themselves with it in advance of their talk. (Many athletes, too, will visit the site of an upcoming competition so that they can walk the court or field and get a sense of the venue before competing there.) If your surroundings are familiar, you will feel more comfortable.
Relaxation Strategies
If you are feeling overly nervous, try to identify specifically why you feel that way. Are you afraid of certain potential outcomes? What are they, and why do they worry you? Once you have identified and clarified your concerns, they become targets for solutions.
Nervousness manifests itself not only in your mind, but also in your body. Therefore, use your body as well as your brain to dispel anxiety. The night before or morning of your presentation, try your favorite form of exercise — a yoga class, jogging, a game of basketball — as a way of helping you relax. Once you have begun presenting, try to stay aware of your body and your breathing as you speak so that you can avoid tensing up.
"Visualize the perfect version of your presentation from beginning to end . . . Breathe deeply and calmly as you see yourself deliver the best presentation you can possibly imagine."
In addition, by focusing your thoughts and energy in a productive way before you give your talk, you can control your nerves and bolster your confidence. Remind yourself how well you understand the material and how carefully you have prepared. Think about how fortunate the audience will be to see and hear you.
Generally, the audience wants you to do well, and they are not anxious about your performance. They are there to hear your message, not to criticize you. Tap into that calming perspective.
Try visualization, a technique used regularly by athletes, actors, and musicians in advance of competition or performance. Visualize the perfect version of your presentation from beginning to end. Start with the instant you walk into the room or onto the stage, and think through every moment until you leave the room or return to your seat after your talk. Be specific. See the room and your listeners' faces; think about what you are saying and how it is received. Notice your confident posture, strong and flexible voice, and consistent eye contact. Breathe deeply and calmly as you see yourself deliver the best presentation you can possibly imagine.
Immediately before you give your presentation, clear your mind. Your preparation is over. You are ready. Take a deep breath, and be yourself!
Imperfection
No matter how well you prepare, you will not escape the fact that you and all other human beings are imperfect. Sometime, somewhere, you will make a mistake.
"When you make a mistake during a presentation, don't compound it by fretting. Just correct it, if necessary, and move on. If it was funny, feel free to laugh."
Spoken language is naturally flawed for most people. We stop in the middle of sentences and backtrack, we choose words that may not fit perfectly in a particular context, and our syntax can be convoluted. Unless you read your speech or recite it word for word from memory (we strongly discourage either approach in almost all cases), chances are you will say something that might have been said better with some other words. You must accept this fact.
The good news is that a lively, spontaneous presentation with some mistakes will engage listeners far more than an error-free but flat delivery. Some people like to read their speeches because they feel that doing so ensures they will not make a major verbal gaffe. Unfortunately, this approach also usually ensures a lack of eye contact, a lack of spontaneity, and ultimately, a lack of meaningful connection with the audience.
Although you may not avoid mistakes altogether, you can control how you respond to them. When you make a mistake during a presentation, don't compound it by fretting. Just correct it, if necessary, and move on. If it was funny, feel free to laugh.
Mr.H
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Lara call it quits
West Indies Captain Lara announced retirement in the news conference following his team's 99-run victory over Bangladesh. It was an emotional statement "I've given this extensive consideration (17 yrs) and on Saturday I will be bidding farewell to international cricket as a player,".
He is one of the finest player in the globe and holds two of the most prestigious World Records for batting in Tests: highest individual innings (400 not out) and the all-time leading run scorer. He also holds the record for the highest individual score in first class cricket, with a total of 501 (not out) for Warwickshire against Durham at Edgbaston in 1994.
"This Saturday will be my last match in international cricket," said Lara. Ramnaresh Sarwan may lead Indies in future. Undoubtedly, he is a legend of cricket and a role model for many youngsters. We wish the legend a great personal life and we expect him to create young guns to the field.
To know more about Brian Charles Lara, his career, his early life, do visit the wikipedia page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Lara
Mr.H
Unpleasant but an enlightening day
Since the purchase of Lappy, I started rounding the zone's with busy hands and legs to get the Internet connection. It was a tough time (day before yesterday) roaming in the city for Data card (which is used to connect to the internet--> P.S. This bit is for the non-technical ppl ;-)). I was quite impressed with Airtel data card and the feedback from existing users are positive.
But after a while, I got the information from Executive- Business development Airtel, that the slot in ma lappy is the latest one in the market and we are yet to launch cards for this type of slots in India WHEW!!. It's available only in abroad at the moment, just a quick notes to move abroad ;-) bt den later compromised to stay here for sometime Phew!!
He came with an idea to go for a Bluetooth doggle (a device) and a recharge for Internet browsing from Airtel, so the net can be accessed between the lappy and mobile (for time being). Hmmm, is the story stopped there?? No, Backstage confusion made the rehearsal difficult for me. But since I am a Tech Savvy I thought to give it a try with the cost of $15 (Including the Bluetooth doggle and the Recharge coupon).
Airtel, calls it as a 'Mobile office' and it got activated yesterday morning and there is a problem with the modem driver?! Yes, that's the error which is popping up when quering the modem. I am still examining systematically. Wish me good luck guys!
Mr.H
Past Failures
True change brings benefit to all
Expression: When there is someone who is behaving in a way that is not right, the usual reaction is to have negative feelings for that person. All words and actions based on this negative attitude will naturally create negativity. Instead it is good to see what could be done to benefit the other person. Raising complaints only takes away inner peace.
Experience: When I bring about a change that benefits even the person who is making the mistake, I am able to remain in peace with all types of people. I am not worried about why a person is behaving in a particular way, but I am able to see what is to be done in order to remove that particular negativity. The hatred is not for the person but for the negativity itself.
Mr.H
Monday, April 16, 2007
A day to remember
Big day for me (16th April). After all, one of the dream's came true. It's just another day to be noticed in ma life. Yes, I bought a new Laptop :-) May be ppl think watz great in this?? A newspaper boy who had soooo many dreams about his future and got caught with the road block (just because of the dream) which led him hurt his hands and legs, more over the 25 yrs old bicycle hurt very badly ;-). Dreaming that he want to be in a place which has a good infrastructure, a seperate cabin and a computer, a Mercedes, a laptop, a good salary, a fly abroad, a beautiful home, a business, overall a comfortable life!
Ofcourse there was a 'Criticism' on the boy, that he can only be an agent for a local newspaper. No one was there beside him other than his mother with eyes full of tears longing for her son's success in life. As said by Clare booth luce "Courage is the ladder on which all other virtues mount"
The courage led him and he had a tough time in the journey, but something really pushed him to take up the task. That something is nothing but the 'Confidence' and today the boy is writing this to the world. It's me! I believe that everyone of you can accept that it was a BIG DAY for me!
Mr.H
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Boring?
Uf huh, I can get u guys n gals an Imagination @ work :-) Phewww!
http://www.imaginationcubed.com/LaunchPage
You can pen something, draw something, play something, line something, shape something, color something, send it to friends, loved one's...overall wanna kill time? Go ahead n get chill.
Mr.H
July Katril (a) Unnale Unnale
On the film, Jeeva says, “This is a love story which I have attempted to show in a different light. It is about how two contrasting characters come together. This story is something that everyone can relate to, you will certainly identify yourself or someone you know, with this story,” says Jeeva.
The score from Harris's lab is simply superb. Especially the number "June pona july katrae kan paartha kadhal katrae...ennachu thonaliyae, aedhachu theriyaliyae...natpaachu love illaye love aachchu natpillaye". After such a long time I felt like watched a worthy Love story (youth) dat too in tamil...btw the hell lot of violence, bugging dappanguthu and crapy masala entertainer and all village stories, its a different place where I got stunned just because of the cinematographer turned director Jeeva. He gives us a visual treat by his camera.
Unnale Unnale is an urban romantic film that explores love from a slightly realistic and different point of view. Though this has a mixed platform of Hollywood and Bollywood, Jeeva managed to bring the best from the lead actors.
Karthik (Vinay) an engineer is a fun loving dude who is playful and flirts with every second girl who crosses his path (Guys close to me don't remember the past hehe). He is sent on 6 months contract to Melbourne where he meets his X Jhansi (Sada). They were tied up with love in Chennai but drove away when they found that they are not compatible with each other. Count among the high points- Sada’s (Jhansi) possessive stubborn woman act, basically an old fashioned. And then comes this bubbly girl Deepika (Tanisha) whom Karthik meets on the flight (Chennai) to Australia who plays cupid. I could recall the scene where her parents used the usual tamil method (arathi) before the flight takes off with all kum kum, clearly combed tamil gal type but then later on the flight we see her another bubbly character on stage. Hmmm, now I recall the gals from Tirupur (ma hometown) to cbe (college) does the same thing at PNK SRT ;-) Coming back to the story, after realizing (Deepika) how deeply they(Jhansi and Karthik) still love each other. But Deepika slowly falls in love with him, complicating matters. The stubborn Jhansi is not willing to open up and sort out issues and her hidden fears makes things worse (Even after they call it as broke up or part ways, the feelings, the love, the possesiveness everything can't be vanished completely). Does the patch work made the bond strong?
Say no to 'Prediction' in Jeeva’s script and he has shown love blossoming between the characters. It has humour (instead of the same bugging crying joke by the comedians) it has sense, it is beautiful, it is Romantic, it has cinematography, it has lyrics. Whenever these guys Jhansi (Sada) and Karthik (Vinay) meets up that's a pure delight to watch. In the second half, the story is lil mature but some may feel a bit when in the Annivery scene but things are packed earlier. June Pona is a humming tune for next couple of hrs for sure. Brilliantly handled camera and freshness in cast.Applause to Harris Jeyaraj who scored full marks for his music, Jeeva is sure to prove that he is Versatile like Balumahendra , who handled the camera and direction well. This movie is Picture-Perfect treat for the youth and some need a refreshment and it looks like a dream.
Newboy Vinay is the tallest hero (6ft 3in), he fits into the character of Karthik, the city (play) boy and he still needs to improve a lot in his body language. However it is Sada who steals the show when she fights with his man and when she change her look for him to get back but still the stubborn character isn't letting her to go further.
Tanisha suits the role of Deepika. She is stylish, glamorous, bubbly, naughty (when she drunk at the party, she becomes a kid holding Vinay and walks on the road speaking that you be with me always..I recall something in ma lyf :-)) A couple of scenes to recall here which I love the most
# When the hero sits for a movie, a gal in yellow T-shirt offers him a drink and then a pop-corn though he had a misunderstanding with his gf but yet he finds his way to accept the gal's offer n in the lobby--> call frm Jhansi, suddenly he turns to the co-visitors to keep quiet hehehe it was an amazing scene.
# The bride just jumps into him with a dance and a kiss on his cheeks brings the smoke from Jhansi's ears and you should take a look at the groom hehehe, he is just shocked with the way his bride ;-) Must watch.
# Cheese pizza, the way Karthik grabs and eats is innocent yet another masterpiece of guys who still say that they loves pizza bt not that so true in cases (buddies remember whozzat) ;-)
# Fevicol joke to recall obviously
# Even before the climax, Jhansi recalls Karthik is still the same old Karthik ;-) (Look the guy who is very dedicated in helping the gal hehehe)
The climax is for anyone or just (almost) everyone who had an affair and lost will (must) recognize that July Kaatril (Unnale Unnale) is a bitter sweet valentine to "Not returned love". Overall, to be watched once for the music, once for the cinematography, once for the youth and yet another colorful love story for this summer.
Mr.H
Massa did it for Ferrari - 04/14/07
Ferrari's Felipe Massa won the battle in qualifying for the Bahrain Grand Prix, fighting with McLaren's Lewis Hamilton for the top spot. They were quite evenly matched but Massa eventually outdid Hamilton, the Brazilian clocking 1:32.652 for pole position. Hamilton did a fine job and will start from the front row for the first time and Kimi Raikkonen put his Ferrari third ahead of the McLaren of Fernando Alonso.
Mr.H
Saturday, April 14, 2007
US Time Zones
Source : http://www.timetemperature.com/tzus/time_zone.shtml
Mr.H
Spiderman III
Pete Parker the 'Superhero' is striking back on May 4th with Spiderman III. It was a visual treat (Trailer) for me when I see our Superhero in a black and red! Something could be threatening him on his new shoes?! Under the influence of the (new) suit, Pete becomes overconfident and starts to fail to care for or give proper attention to the people (loved one's) who care for him most. Pete must overcome his personal demons as there are two villains (most fearsome) yet, Sandman and Venom, gather unparalleled power and a thirst for retribution to threaten Pete and everyone he loves.
I am really excited to watch the movie and expecting things on stage. I bet Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst gonna go steal the show with their onscreen performance. Tobey's sad state of affairs is impressive when Kirsten walks back from him on the bridge. (Watch it on the trailer).
Trailer is here
http://playlist.yahoo.com/makeplaylist.dll?id=1568872&sdm=web&qtw=480&qth=300
Mr.H
Friday, April 13, 2007
An Angel on my way
Pretty as a Picture
Kris new CEO of Infosys
Nandan M Nilekani who is CEO and managing director of the company, is now taking on a new role — that of executive co-chairman. Mr Kris Gopalakrishan will step into his shoes and Mr Shibulal will be the new COO.
S. Gopalakrishnan (Kris to his colleagues) is one of the founders of Infosys Technologies Limited. He plays a key role in defining the company strategy and in using technology and innovation continuously to maintain its leadership of the industry.
The new changes will be effective from June 22, 2007. Infosys chief mentor N R Narayana Murthy will stay on as the non-executive chairman.While Mr Shibulal will continue to be based in Bangalore, his successor to head the North American operations will be decided soon.Mr.H
Planning to buy/sell Cars?
The present day market in India is flooded with second-hand cars. Also there are plenty of finance options available for second hand cars.I have just come across a site www.carwale.com which is really worth a try.
Mr.H
Day off
Hey Folks -
Not been into blogging 4 a couple of day’s bcoz of travelling between ma hometown n workplace. Loads 2 recall in this couple of days...Isn't it nice if v have a rewind n a pause button in our lyf? Sweet memories can be recalled n a pause button makes us stick with the sweetest things. Yes, no 1 can obstruct.
I really miss ma family, the food which ma grani cooks n d side dishes which ma mumma always tries (LOL), d bathroom which has the shower (without water heater ;-)) n d small lil cousins always probe for a game or money for chocs, d fight between v guys 2 change d channels, d advice of ma nana, d sunshine, d crowded roads, d motels, d not sooo gud theatres, ma bro n his daughters, d beer at Maniam Classic or at MPS (nvr wnt 2 booze wid money till now s d masterpiece phew ;-))
Well, yesterday ma day off n was roaming in d city frm east 2-west n north 2 south. Kumaran College, St.Joseph's memories hahaha yea I need the rewind button. D best thing which happened was a call frm ma X-friend which didn't make me to realize dat I was on fone 4 at least 4+ hrs, den a buzz frm ma friend brought me back n v headed 2 Sri Sakthi 4 a movie. Though d movie sucks I found ma nother friend after 4 yrs in d theatre. It was a day wid emotions n fun, since it’s a small town it is possible 2 meet some old pals den n der...
Later, had a nice sleep n a superb NV frm d kitchen f grani. Packed things (as usual missed a couple f things lol) n a tight sleep at the room. Now, its fine 2-start wid d breakfast. A warm day n a new year too. My sincerest wish is that everyone will be happy, and share a moment of joy, peace and understanding.
Mr.H
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Inter-religion marriages = SIN??
A couple from Bhopal who wanted to get married despite being from different religions, the journey towards the marriage became obstinate. Just read it from the happening news
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/india-360-hindumuslim-love-story/38369-3-0.html
Are we still locked up??
Mr.H
Attitude of Power
To have an attitude of power is to be free from physical pain.
Expression:
Experience:
When there is the ability to make the mind strong even when there is a problem in the body, I am able to have the courage to win over the pain. I don't get caught up with the pain. On the other hand, the relaxed attitude of my mind generates power, which can even cure the body.
Mr.H
Leadership: Do you have it in you?
Nothing succeeds like success, they say. We all want to be successful in our careers, be it in our roles as individuals, team players or team leaders. Taking responsibility for one's actions is a key component of success as an individual. And taking responsibilty for what your team does is a key component of leadership. When one doesn't do that, failure is just around the corner.
At your workplace, you will often hear people passing the buck when something goes wrong. These people are definitely not going very high up the ladder. You will find most of them projecting the same pattern in their reasoning and approach to life, as well -- that nothing was their fault, including the incidents that happen in their personal lives as well.
Blame and excuses: hallmarks of an unsuccessful leader
Avoiding responsibility in one's personal life carries over into one's professional life, and vice versa. Excuses for failure and the choices you make at workplace fuel dysfunctional thinking and, subsequently, undesirable behaviour and actions. "Making excuses, rather than taking 100 per cent responsibility for your actions, decisions, and their outcomes, is the hallmark of future failures," feels Anjali Singh, a 27-year old manager with a finance company in Delhi.
This is why taking responsibility is so powerfully important and is the essence of what can make or break a leader.
Take responsibility at workplace
Taking responsibility is the underlying factor behind success at work. If someone in your team makes a mistake, you must be able to admit it, take the necessary action and then proceed. This is something that many do not understand. No leader can be successful without being accountable for his/her own actions.
Being responsible ensures that even when events outside your control go awry, you can at least determine how you will react to the situation. You can make the situation a disaster or you can use it as an opportunity to learn and to grow.
"My friend is a manager in a new startup venture. Every time we meet, I am taken aback by her failure to take responsibility for what's going on in her work and life. Everything is always someone else's fault. She explains away each problem with reasons about why she can't influence the outcome," says Anjali.
"We are continuously confronted with external pressures at work that affect us greatly. It is how we react to these pressures that largely determine what we accomplish in our career. Those who take responsibility and recognise their own weakness in the way it relates to the problem are the ones who grow and accomplish. Those who blame others or ignore their roles, stagnate and achieve less," says Rishi Gupta, 29, a manager in a telecom company.
Why people don't admit their mistakes
"Mistakes bring about a feeling of tension and anxiety within the individual. At such times, the mind seeks rational ways of escaping the situation. A range of defence mechanisms can be triggered. These defence mechanisms are subconsciously employed to protect the ego and they tend to distort, transform, or otherwise falsify reality. One uses these 'deceptions' to avoid facing issues of guilt, failure, fear, emotional pain, or embarrassment. In distorting reality, there is a change in perception which helps to lessen anxiety," says psychologist Dr. Kanchan Misra. There are many defence mechanisms. Some examples are:
Denial : Claiming/believing what is true to be false
Projection : Attributing uncomfortable feelings to others
Displacement : Redirecting emotions to a substitute target
Rationalisation : Creating false but credible justifications
Reaction formation : Overeacting in an opposite way to the fear
Intellectualisation : Taking an objective viewpoint in order to ignore the emotional aspect Regression : Going back to acting like a child
Repression : Pushing uncomfortable thoughts into the subconscious
Sublimation : Redirecting 'wrong' urges into socially acceptable actions
"Some defence mechanisms are healthy. However, we sometimes either use them at the wrong time or overuse them, which can be destructive," says Dr Misra. For example, a leader whose team keeps failing, may misuse defence mechanisms such as rationalisation, projection, or denial, often.
Common defensive expressions used at the workplace
"It was not my fault." (blaming others without accepting personal responsibility)
"It wasn't all that important." (belittling the act)
"It happened a long time ago." (implying it doesn't matter anymore)
"They made me do it." (blaming others for a personal wrong act)
"There was no other way out." (justification of wrong)
"It only happened once." (rationalisation) "Everyone does it." (rationalisation)
"I am only human." (indirectly blaming god)
"Well, no one is perfect." (general comparison to shift the guilt)
"The contract we lost was not a good one anyway." (a case of 'sour grapes' -- another defense mechanism)
How to take responsibility as a leader
"You have to be emotionally mature enough to see your decisions through and deal with the outcomes, whether positive or negative," says Rishi. Here are a few suggestions to keep in mind:
Acknowledge that your work is your responsibility
No matter how much you try to blame others for the events at work, each event is the outcome of choices you made and are making. Demonstrate accountability.
Make no excuses
Listen to the little voice inside your head. "The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, whether for a missed deadline or an unmet goal, gently remind yourself -- no excuses," says Anjali. Excuses fuel failure.
Listen to yourself when you speak
"Observe yourself talking with colleagues and friends. In your conversation, do you hear yourself blaming others for things that aren't going exactly as you wish? If you can sense your blaming patterns, you can stop them," says Dr Misra.
Take feedback seriously
If someone gives you feedback that you make excuses and blame others for your troubles, control your defensive reaction, explore examples and deepen your understanding of the situation.
Thus, when events at the workplace exert pressure on you, you can respond positively or negatively. Those who respond positively and take responsibility rather than blame others or be indifferent are the ones who grow as leaders. Consequently, they develop the foundation for great positive responses, great achievement, and great success in leadership.
So, are you ready to take responsibility for your actions?
Source : rediff.com
URL : http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2006/nov/22leader.htm
Mr.H
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Try Life
Where there is faith there is victory
Expression:
When someone has faith there are no doubts or questions about theself, others or situations. Faith also enables a person to see and understand simple things in life with a new understanding. It shows direction and courage to go on.
Experience:
When I have faith, I experience myself to be lucky and thus receive cooperation from many others. I would also be able to experience success at every step. There is then no worry for me and am troubled less by aspects that keep changing around me. My thoughts then would always be positive and I experience victory.
Mr.H
Pros and Cons
You will find the phrase pros and cons in many places, which do not mark it as 'informal' or in any way restricted in use. The complete 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary explains that it is an abbreviation of the Latin phrase pro et contra, 'for and against', and that it has been in use in the abbreviated form since the 16th century. In other words, it is a well established standard usage.
The alternative is the much longer 'arguments for and against'.
Mr.H
Monday, April 9, 2007
Ma first post in the new blog.
I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry, I am characterized by great celerity, dreaming, challenging, racing, loving n caring. I'm still a kid reading d life. Pages gone, pages going on, pages ah yea yet 2 come.
So, this is just about everything I see, I feel, I do. By the way guys don go wild Phewww ;-) I am Hasan B Navaz. Being called by many names n I can give u a choice here LOL Hassy, Mr.H, Masal, Nachu, Mapla...
I will see you in ma posts :-)
Mr.H
